Charlie Watts and a demand for respect

A well-known incident happened when Charlie Watts, the drummer of Rolling Stones, clocked Mick Jagger, one of the founding members of Rolling Stones, simply due to disrespect hurled by a drunk/high Jagger. Wikipedia puts it as:"... An intoxicated Jagger phoned Watts' hotel room in the middle of the night asking "Where's my drummer?". Watts reportedly got up, shaved, dressed in a suit, put on a tie and freshly shined shoes, descended the stairs, and punched Jagger in the face, saying: "Don't ever call me your drummer again. You're my fucking singer!"

This gets me thinking, heres a man who was silent for most part of his life, atleast as compared to the more outspoken members of the band, but carried the aura which demanded respect at the utmost level, while holding his fort no matter what.

Now, apply the same conditions to an ordinary joe's life, atleast in this city/country, who works for an organization through out most of his life. And during his entire work span, he is subjected to various events which targets directly his self-esteem, and the respect that he is entitled to. Forget the pay he gets, or the perks and whatever. But yet, it is passed upon us, and the coming generations, to keep our cool or stay mum about it in the light of "job security" or a "stable life". My question here is HOW can one have a stable life knowing he is not respected for the effort he makes every day just to cope up with the daily bull shit. And whoever has worked in this country, would know and agree, that theres always ALOT of bull shit tied to ones work.

Where is that point where a man dresses up, goes upto his boss, and if not smack the living lights out of him, and say: I put you there, you are not my boss by your choice, I made you MY boss.

Or if anything, where would he draw a line saying well this is it, fuck job security and whatever you may, I demand an apology and I demand the respect I am entitled to.

So is it implied, that job security more important as compared to a person's respect, at the end of the day? Is asking for respect and a fair treatment that tabboo to ask? I wonder..

Rant: Thank you for shit

I am grateful. I am thankful.

But not for blessings I got, but for the troub

le I find myself in. For whatever blessings I got, they could never have helped me be someone I am today, and this quickly. Thus, I shall be a brat and be thankful for those at a later date.

I am thankful for the haters, and more importantly, the lovers for throwing irrational arguments in my face, for throwing shit at me whenever I could do with some support. I am thankful for the millions of times I was made to stand at the end of a

smoking gun, and force me to make horrible decisions in milliseconds. I am thankful for the shit I got from everyone for being who I am.

For, had those hurdles not been in my life, I would not have ended up being this comfortable with my own self, and thinking I am awesome. Yes, I am arrogant about it - humble did not do well for me.

For, had these problems not been thrown in my face, I would have not found the off switch for my brains. The ability to turn my mind off, in situations which were non-pleasurable.

For, had not for these people who were not so nice

, I would have never seen the difference between me and them. The difference of bad from the good. The difference of being influential and from being destructive.

I am happy, for somewhere deep down I had a thirst for pain and agony, and whatever is thrown my way, it ends up just increasing the thirst more and more, to the point where now I am constantly waiting for the next trouble people land me into.

Ernesto Che Guevara said "it’s a sad thing to not ha

ve friends, but its worse when you don't have enemies". And in light of this, I shall just say I am blessed to probably have more enemies than friends.

Thank you world, I mean it.

R.

Terrorists are cheap Casio lovers.

Ok, I have always been a geek when it comes to watches; pocket or wrist. I have a firm belief that watches give an insight to their owner faster than anything. Some people suggest that to understand a person, you should look at that person's apparel and how he/she dresses? I say that, all, is very complicated. Look at the watch - thats the key.

So, a news piece caught my eyes yesterday where it said that Terrorists have been linked to their watches, some cheap black rubber casio, costing under $4 at max, leading to imprisonment of several known and not known terrorists. Now this gets me thinking - what kind of a shitty terrorist spends less than $4 on a watch?! I mean come on! How cheap can you be? You guys want to blow up the world, yet you are so cheap that you can't really buy a Guess at the very least?

But again, had they worn such classy watches, like Bvlgari or Guess or even a Timex, i expect things would not have been this scary to look at. 'Cause heres my point, you cannot pull of a Bvlgari on a pair of black dirty shalwaar kameez stitched like a fucking camp shelter - you need a proper suit. And some hand stitched leather shoes, from Italy perhaps. And that would've been a sight. Terrorists coming like James Bond, and instead of saying "The name's Bond, James Bond 007" - they would say "terrorist, 786". BOOM.

Then again, what pisses me off the most is, this whole 19 or 20 years of my life I saw movies and dramas and shit like that, where the villain was always dressed to kill, alongside an amazing watch. Never, not even once, it crossed my mind or TV screen that there are cheap villains. They always drove a BMW or a Mercedes, and wore a matching Tag or Gucci or something with it.

And then I saw the desi militants. Sitting on donkeys, wearing a tent for shalwaar kameez, and a $4 Casio for a watch. Like one said, it's hard to maintain a sense of style.

Technology Detox

And no, i don't mean detox through medical means. I cant find a better suiting word, thus i ll stick to this.
What has been going on, that I was blessed to see, was a complete takeover of my life by my tech gizmos - namely my 2 cell phones and my laptop. And no, i am not referring to facebook. I have been over that "partial addiction" last year, when i went rogue and deleted my account - now its only in place for business use.
I am referring to the situation where I am constantly wired to the internet, my emails, the annoying stupid text messages that i don't know why i keep replying to, and tiny things like that - which in the bigger picture has really screwed my life over. My sleep was demented, i kept waking up in the middle of the night because of some stupid fat head's "whatsup" or the network connection's evil message of telling me how i can change my ring tone for a slight fortune. I became a mummy, quite literally. My food intake went down, my attention span went really low, i became all trippy and jumpy - just like a drug addict.
This may be hypocritical of me to condemn these things, as i sell the annoying tools during the day. But, it doesn't mean that i cannot complain about how it has messed everyone over.

So since a few days, i have started this process of technological detoxification - where after 11 pm i close both my cellphones(all hail blackberry for the auto shut and auto open option), shut down my laptop and plug it out so that i don't wake up in the night and try to open it again, keep the cellphones and laptop in a corner of the room, shut the room lights off so i cant unknowingly fire those things up again, and go into my peace full routine of reading a book or watch a lame movie on the TV.
Apart from this, i have almost stopped replying to messages containing the words: "whatsap" or "hey man, long time". Only replying to ones which are related to my work - cause i cant really NOT reply to my boss's message and still retain my job. BUT, my biggest chunk of gossip messages has died, thankfully.
And all this has brought so much joy to my life, that i might not be able to explain through words, but through my facial expressions - which is something like "YAY :0".
What I'm looking forward to do now, is what Dr.Ghazala(a friend at T2F) once told me to do - take an entire day off. Shut off the cellphone, head to a beach, and just sit there like a dumb bell for the longest time. Before, this sounded like a waste of time, and why the hell would i do that. But now, after the semi detox process, it has started to sound like a complete joy.
Now i wont really preach everyone to do this, whatever i am doing. Yet it still is something i will tell everyone to try it for a few days. The first day is always horrible, but the second day starts to be the most relaxing day/night you ever had in your life.
And the week after the first day - you hit radio silence heaven, and you discover your actual self with complete authority and no strings attached. You fall in love with your own self.

In the memory of my nani...

* i can go on forever talking about my grandma's coolness. I accept this fact even before deciding how i will be writing this piece of blog. There are just a gazillion stories and thoughts swimming around in my mind that i would love to put it out there. But well, I'll just let my keyboard and brain take it from here..

The simplest way of putting whatever happened will have to be: it was a tremendous loss, one which might be just impossible to get over from. She was an angel - a goddess in my life. For the majority of my childhood she, along with my nana, raised me, as they happened to live right opposite my house and my parents used to be off to their work places. My version of kiddy time around my grandparents revolved around getting to use calligraphic pens or learning how to engrave in a piece of cardboard. My memory of bed time stories, narrated to me by my grand ma, involved Baba Bulleh Shah and Quaid-e-Azam, while fictional characters never existed to me for the longest time. Once, she told me - he is smart who reads about others' lives, and learns from their mistakes. Something which I can never forget, something through which I have learnt the most important lessons of my life. But, in short, it was just the best childhood one could ever get, and I'm really blessed to have that, and to know those stand up personalities in person.
I still remember, when I finally started doing something with my life - going places, starting up businesses, doing a shit load of work, every tiny achievement - I would tell her. And she would just sit there, on her favourite seat with her ear piece on, smiling in the most adorable way possible - while saying stuff like "abhi bohut agey jana hai tumhein(you still have a long way to go)". That look of satisfaction made it feel like it was all worth it, and that the world cant do me any harm.
Now, I have no idea how to deal with the loss - but from what i know, shes kicking back in the heavens with nana right now, having a ball, looking down at us beaming with immense pride, thinking Bulleh Shah was a risky venture for bed time stories, but it paid off in the right ways.


Dedicated to the memory of the best grandma.
You're missed nani. No one can fill your seat.
God Bless.


*this blog is merely one of many which will be coming. Abrupt as this may be, it is just a start.

It was meant to be a one man show.

The veins turn ice cold,
time decides to stand still,
a haze descends on the vision,
and the people start to disappear.

The mind starts doing backflips,
the emotions wash off,
nothing matters now.

The spotlight blinds the vision,
and realisation dawns -
its only me on the stage,
time to roll the one man show credits.

*mind blabbers - blog publishes it. cruelty at its best.

Jungle rule?

So i am struck by a very strange situation - a total void of any human emotions. It has been bugging me since quiet some time, but as i slowly start to write about it, i come to peace with it.
Since a few days, i have stopped feeling any emotions - at least not the good ones, i still feel the happiness of certain things, but generally its in the category of "indifference". Care is something i have forgotten, precaution is to the wind - and to point out something which makes this ironic is: i was always the guy particular about everything, analysing any risk a billion times if i was to embark on something which was generally frowned upon let alone be even remotely illegal. Friends, i hate to admit, are losing worth. I'm told its the arrogance kicking in, its the head fogging up with fucked up ideas. But, i politely refuse - i can think sense at times as well.
The word "friend" is now merely a simpler word for "acquaintance". Old ones - well, they have done their part in screwing my life one way or the other and in the process ensuring i never even think of them once in the future days. I hate to admit now though, i have screwed up - over the years I have become almost completely self sufficient(emotionally/socially, if not financial), being alone isn't a scary thought anymore, on the contrary its quiet appealing now. I have screwed up in the sense that a few years back i was compared to a stone (emotionally) and although I rejected that idea back then, over the time i have some how evolved into one.
"Indifferent" may be the word, but an expression will go something like how a friend neatly summed it up today, unknowing of my inner battle:

"its like an empty jungle man, and you are apparently the king"

ahh well - alot of bull shit has been covered i suppose. "suit up" is the thing to do now i think - Barney Stinson was indeed right, life is pretty awesome this way.